September 3, 2008

The Roundup from 2008-09-03

Filed under: Mini Blog — @ 11:59 pm
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Yo mama's so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.

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September 2, 2008

Foreigners Killing The Premier League

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I used to think people were crazy to complain that foreigners in the Premier League were killing the England national team. But now I think they’re right - only it’s not the foreign players, it’s the foreign owners that are to blame. The massive influx in money (highlighted by the recent madness at Manchester City) has created a culture in the Premier League where winning and staying in all competitions is important not just for the fans and players, but also to the long-term financial health of the club. Meaning that trivial things like World Cup qualifiers and even cup games are given second-class status to Premier League weekend games and European competition.

Take the example of Steven Gerrard’s latest injury. It seems that Gerrard has been playing on a groin injury for a while, even after further aggravating it in a midweek Champion’s League qualifier that Liverpool had to win. So what does Manager Rafa Benitez do? Asks him to gut it out for the weekend Premier League game and then schedule surgery for the international break - which, as you can imagine, did not initially sit well with England Manager Fabio Capello.

Rafa Benitez insisted he had made his peace with England coach Fabio Capello yesterday and dismissed claims of a breakdown in communication over Steven Gerrard’s latest injury absence.

Gerrard will have the second of two minor groin operations today and will miss Capello’s first two competitive games in charge, as England begin their World Cup campaign against Andorra next Saturday and Croatia four days later.

Capello was reportedly unhappy at being kept in the dark over Liverpool’s decision to arrange surgery for their skipper in the immediate aftermath of Wednesday night’s Champions League qualifying round win over Standard Liege.

Now it seems that captain John Terry, Frank Lampard, Owen Hargreaves, Wes Brown, and Ashley Cole will also miss one or both international games - which leaves me wondering how England is expected to get a result against Croatia - the team that will most likely be their toughest competition in the group - in a competition where, unlike Euro 2008 qualifying, winning the group is paramount to qualification. I know it happens on-and-off already, but is this going to get to the point where clubs will start to come up with all kinds of excuses to keep their best players out of all international games?

I suppose the good thing is that some non-regulars like Fulham’s Jimmy Bullard will get a chance to impress Capello. But without some kind of continuity in Capello’s system, how can the team be expected to play as a unit? Some would say Capello should drop the overpaid regulars and give the young England stars more consideration. But Capello seems to have a fondness for a more grizzled England team (see:David Beckham) with Michael Owen the only notable exception.

I say instead of picking an England All-Star team, just send Aston Villa. They seem to be the only Premier League team stockpiling young England talent (Ashley Young, Gabby Agbonlahor, Gareth Barry, Steve Sidwell, Luke Young, Curtis Davies, etc.) and there’ll be no worries about not playing together. I suppose they need to find someone to replace Carew, Laursen, Friedel and a few others, but it would certainly have saved them from paying both Shteve McClaren and Fabio Capello all that money when they could get the guy (Martin O’Neill) they probably should have hired after Sven left. Of course we’ll look past the fact that Villa’s owners are American and their manager is Irish!

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September 1, 2008

So Much For Abstinence Only

Yo mama's so fat she can't even tie her own shoes.

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Palin’s unmarried daughter is pregnant

Besieged by blog rumors about her 17-year-old daughter, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin — named Friday as running mate of John McCain — released a statement Monday saying her daughter is pregnant and plans to marry the father.

Talk about a shotgun wedding. Can you imagine if this “father” decides not to marry her and these right wingers have to deal with an unmarried teen pregnancy going into their moral high-ground speech? That guy would be shot! Even Obama talked about reducing unwanted pregnancies in his acceptance speech. God help if that guy was a registered Democrat.

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Sarah, Bristol Palin’s Pregnancy Cover-Up. ugh!

Yo mama's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

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Apparently there was a lefty blogger rumor about the relatively unknown Sarah Palin that her last child was actually the baby of her daughter, Bristol. A juicy scandal for a woman politician who believe in abstinence-only sex ed. The DailyKos is where the rumor gained traction, even producing a photo of the daughter with what they described as a “baby bump”. Someone even created a website.

Hilarious, right? Too bad that picture was from 2 years earlier than they described.

Welcome to Politics. This is what happens when you’re an unknown candidae that vaults to stardom within your party. It also happened to Obama with the Rev. Wright thing - although the right wingers fanned those flames a bit harder. And with the continued blurring of the lines between journalists and blogs (most newspapers now have their own blogs that their journalists write in too) these stories can gain lots of traction without the proper research. Especially when cable news uses the rumors to fan the flames of difference and get viewers to stick around - asking the same questions when they know the answers and reporting the opinions of those who aren’t qualified to give them. OK - enough bad sentence structures. Here are some funny takes on the whole rumor nonsense - the first one from Gawker


Sarah Palin Might Be A Lying, Phony, Hot Grandmother

Sarah found out her daughter was pregnant and, not wanting to ruin her career as a family-oriented politician, pretended the baby was hers. (Check her Bed Bath and Beyond receipts. She bought a set of matching shammy cloths that fit snugly under the blouse.) As a peace offering, Sarah told Bristol she could name it. Out of passive aggressive spite, Bristol picked her least favorite school subject, in this case trigonometry. And thus became the legend of Trig Paxson Van Palin. Oh, and, um … the rest of the name? The “Paxson” came from the midwife who agreed to shred the documentation on the real mother, and “Van” came from where the conception happened.

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August 31, 2008

Sarah Palin On Learning What Exactly A VP Does

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Sarah Palin surprise

Here’s where she asks what the VP job is all about:



Sarah Palin - What does the VP do?

It’s a bit different from being Governor of a state of 670,000 people (roughly equivalent to the city of Memphis).

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These Are Just Way Too Funny

Yo mama's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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This Shit Is Serious

Yo mama's so ugly when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.

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It’s happening again

Hurricane Gustav models

All of the models bar one have this thing cuting right through southern Louisiana. Sure they’ve made progress in fixing things up, but a Cat 4 Hurricane may undo it all in one night. 150+ mph winds sustained - gusts up to 200. So it’s pretty classless that a guy like Michael Moore, a clown with some film making talent and unfortunately a voice in politics, to go on TV and say something as callous as this:

“I was just thinking, this Gustav is proof that there is a God in heaven,” Moore said. “To just have it planned at the same time, that it would actually be on its way to New Orleans for Day One of the Republican convention, up in the Twin Cities, at the top of the Mississippi River.”

nola hurricaneI mean, come on! You sit there and accuse Republicans of being out of touch with the common man and then you start cracking jokes on what a Hurricane will do to the GOP convention? When a bunch of people who just started putting their lives back together are faced with another life-changing event? What a tool this guy is - someone should send his ass to New Orleans and have him try to survive in the toxic water and inhumane post-storm conditions.

Keith Olbermann should bear some blame for not calling out Moore on this either. I understand being a left-wing pundit, but if you’re gonna call out Dubya and McCain you have to call out Moore too, or you’re no better than Hannity and O’Reilly.

Apparently some Democratic congressman was caught saying the same thing on a plane flight, but the quality of the youtube video seems a bit dubious.

but yeah … Michael Moore needs to take a long vacation to Kinshasa or Kamchatka or something and leave the idiotic political statements to Cindy McCain.

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